The Lord's Prayer
by LostInTheInterwebz
Summary: Heero self-destructs on a mission, and is left paralyzed, maybe permanently paralyzed. Can Duo deal with this, considering he hasn't even told Heero his true feelings for him yet?


The Lord's Prayer  
  
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Author's Notes: I wrote this while having insomnia last night. I hope that ya'll like it. Please review!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or any of the characters associated with it. Please don't sue.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Warning: Angst, Yaoi, Death, Fluff, Heavy Cussing, Duo and Heero Making Kissy-face, Alternating POV  
  
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Our Father which art in Heaven  
  
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"Oh, Heero, why did you have to be so fucking stupid?" Duo exclaimed, as he sat at my bedside, scowling. Okay, the mission had been necessary, and I had been called to self-destruct...so, what was the problem? I mean, sure...I can't move right now, the doctors say that I might not ever be able to walk again...but....it was worth it, for the war...for the cause...right?   
  
He's holding my hand...I can feel lit, barely, as I just keep watching the expressions on his face with my eyes. It might've been worth the cause...our cause ...in the war to do this...but...Duo's grieving is killing me. Does he know that? Tears are running down his face. "God, Heero...we had through you had died..." He says softly, squeezing my hand a bit harder. "I mean...you could've waited one more second until me, or Quatre showed up...couldn't you?" He looked from my hand, into my eyes. His violet ones searing a hole into my soul. Ther ewere too many emotions in those eyes for me to read....let alone respond to. Most of it was pain...anger....and...love? Did he honestly love me? How could I return that...especially in my current postiiton? I couldn't even move my head...how was I supposed to tell him how I felt?   
  
"Damnit, Heero...don't you know that we care about you? You're not just another damned expendable pilot, you know!" He's yelling now. I had never seen him so angry...so upset before. It was almost like watching his heart break right in front of my eyes. He's sobbing...big, crystaline tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. What had I done? I was just a tool...wasn't I? Just a tool for the war?  
  
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Hallowed be Thy Name  
  
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I look at the braided one again...he's stifling his sobs...squeezing my hand. Oh, Duo...if I could only speak to you...I could tell you what I fell...well...maybe. I don't know. I'm not supposed to have feelings of this sort...am I? A soldier can't have feelings...they only distract from the mission. Blinking slowly, I squeeze his hand back...or try to. Nothing comes of it...not even a twitch from my fingers. Oh, God...what if I am paralyzed totally? NOt even able to speak....to communicate? What will I do? I could request someone to kill me...but how would I do that? For the first time...fear grips me totally... I had felt that emotion before...but not as intensely as this. I felt like I would go insane from it...until I startined willing myself to calm down. I heard the heart monitor...the beeps went faster with my fear...but what did it go fatster for? To pump blood through useless limbs? What was the point in that?  
  
Stupid heart.  
  
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Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done  
  
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He was so stupid for doing what he had done...detonating himself off prematurely....  
  
Now look at him...he's a fucking vegetable...for life. Didn't he figure that this would happen? Didn't he realize that there were some people out there who actually _cared_ about him? Apparently not. His hand felt limp and lifeless in mine...though I think he can feel it when I squeeze. I just hope that he'll be able to squeeze back soon...I mean...I want him to get better...to get well. I want to be able to communicate with him...to tell him what I've wanted to tell him for so long...and hear his response. I want to tell him that I love him.   
  
I sigh, feeling the tears come again. I may never get to hear the Perfect Soldier speak again. When the Wing Gundam had exploded...Heero had went flying from it like he ahd been propelled by a freakin' rocket. He had landed wrong...hitting his head on the ground...damaging his spaine. It hadn't been severed, thankfully...but it had been screwed up enough to where it had almost severed. And now, he was in thais bed, looking at me with those beautiful cobalt eyes of his...fear etched in all the blueness of them. Fear, Heero? Why should you be afraid? Hadn't you known what would happen?  
  
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On Earth, as it is in Heaven  
  
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Sighing a bit, I bend down, and kiss his hand softly...some of my tears landing on his lifeless flesh, as I move to leave. But, before I do...before he begins to go to sleep from the meds that he's on, I whsiper in his ear, "I love you, Heero...take care until I come back..." Then, grabbing my coat, I make for the door...I have a mission to get ready for...  
  
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Give us this day our daily bread  
  
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Now, I stand with Trowa, Wufei, adn Quatre...we're at Duo's funeral He died shortly after leaving the hospital that night a week ago. I have recovered from my injuries since then...though I walk with a bit of a limp. The doctors didn't believe such a quick recovery. Apparently it was some kind of a record or something. I think it had been the braided baka that had helped me out during that time. It had been...his love...the motivation that he had gave my body...with just his words. That's what had done it. That's what had given me the strength to get well so quickly.   
  
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And forgive us our debts,   
  
As we forgive our debtors  
  
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Holding a black rose in my hand...I slowly step towards his casket, placing it on the top. Kissing my fingertips, I lay them on the flower, whispering softly my last words to him. "Duo...if you can hear me....  
  
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Lead us not into temptation  
  
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..please know that I return your love...and wish so much that I could've told you my feelings earlier...way earlier. I love you, Duo Maxwell...and I always will...."  
  
Wow...he had loved me.. Apparently, just as much, or more than I had loved him. Looking down at him from heaven...I feel my heart melt from his words to me. Why had we missed our chance? Now we couldn't do anything about the love that we had "shared" while we were _both_ on Earth. I had talked to the Almighty about it...and He allows me one more chance to get in contact with Heero....I will use that tonight...  
  
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But deliver us from evil  
  
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Lyaing awak...I look at the ceiling...wiping my eyes for the umpteenth time. I miss Duo. I've missed him ever since he left that day when he told me he loved me...and for me to take care of myself...until he came back. He had seemed so sure about coming back...that I thought he would. But he didn't. He had lied to me. The boy that "runs and hides, but never tells a lie"...had lied. Nothing could stop him...or so he thought...nothing but Death.   
  
Rolling over, I put my hand on something. Picking it up, I realize that it's a flower.... a rose....black...Duo's favorite.   
  
I wonder where it came from? Sitting up, I smell it...instantly smelling that unique fragrance that was always Duo. Spice...but gentle at the same time. Like...Irish Spring, and cherries mixed together. Shivering from the scent, I remember what he had said...how mournful he had been when he had last seen me. He had cared alot. I should've known...by all the hints that he gave me, how much he felt towards me. No, wait...I did know.... I _had_known...I had just chose to ignore it.   
  
A small breeze hits my face in the room. Looking up, I see that the window is open. Odd....   
  
Getting up, I move to close it....when I hear a whisper behind me.  
  
"Heero..."  
  
My eyes going as wide as saucers, I slowly turn around, and gasp. It's Duo. He's clad all in white....great white wings sprouting from his back, his hair loose, and all about him in it's chestnut glory. "Oh....Duo....is it you?" I ask...breathlessly....as I feel my eyes beginning to brim over....with tears of...happiness? Sadness? I don't know....  
  
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For Thine is the kingdom,  
  
The power,  
  
And the glory,  
  
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Oh...it was good to see him again. Reaching out, I was surprised when he just ran into my arms. So unlike Heero....but still...it was good to hold him like this, to run my hands through his dark brown hair that always seemed to be messy...though that was my attraction to it. Always messy...unlike the perfect soldier's personality. Which was clean-cut, except for some deep emotions beyond the mask that he always wore. "Heero...I'm here...shhh..." I whisper, as I feel his tears invade my clothing. Very softly, I wrap my wings around him protectively, and put my finger underneath his chin for a moment, gently making him look up at me. "Heero....I will always be with you....I'll never leave you...all you have to do...is call my name...and I'll be there....I'll be here for you...." Looking into his cobalt eyes nearly made me melt, as I softly drew my hand over his forehead, kissing his lips ever so lightly and tenderly. "Koi...I must be going now....I'll watch over you...always..." I say, as I slowly begin to fade. "I love you...."  
  
"I love you, too...Duo....and I'll miss you..."  
  
"You'll see me again....I promise....and He promises as well..." I smile, and then fade totally out of view, leaving him with my scent...and my love...to keep him warm that night...and all the nights after...until we can be together again.  
  
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Forever, Amen.  
  
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~*~  
  
Owari. 


End file.
